Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
