i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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