just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
