there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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