would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
