There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
