apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
