uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
