What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
