Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
