Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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