Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize