No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
