OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
