she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
