Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize