I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you would pick up someone in the library
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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