Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
