I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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