can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize