Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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