I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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