i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
