Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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