what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
...so i touched it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
