then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize