just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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