So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.