Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you