You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?