That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.