I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest