Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
