u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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