i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize