I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
