I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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