I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I need water and some morals
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
