i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
