Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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