Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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