I didn't shave. On purpose
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
