margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
