You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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