he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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