but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
