I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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