yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
