allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
