i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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