My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
