I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
