lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
