you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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