your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
