Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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