OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
