What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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