Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
