this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
