I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
