I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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