Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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